homesick Archives - Lake Bryn Mawr Camp

What Questions Should I Ask My Child’s Camp Director?

May 25th, 2012

When you’re sending your child to sleepaway camp for the first time, even if you’re a seasoned camper yourself, the process of choosing a camp can be a little bit overwhelming – and you might not remember to ask all the right questions. Any good camp director will tell you about their camp philosophy, programs and traditions, but there are some questions you can ask to ensure you and your daughter are making the right choice for her. Here’s a handy clip-and-carry guide to bring along to those camp tours so you can be sure to get the information you need about the prospective summer homes you’re considering for your daughter.

What steps do you take to help welcome my daughter to camp?

Camp life is wonderful, and it’s also a big adjustment — new friends, new bed, new food, new schedule. It’s a lot to take in! How does this camp help your daughter make the transition? Are there pre-camp programs, like pen pals or meetups, to help her make connections before she gets off the bus? Will she have a “buddy” or “big sister” at camp to answer her questions and serve as a role model?

Who will supervise my daughter at night?

Some camps have a counselor on duty in each and every cabin every night, while other camps have one “OD” (on duty) counselor supervising several cabins while other staff members have time off. Make sure your daughter’s camp has an OD policy that provides for a level of coverage that you’re comfortable with.

When will I talk to my daughter?

Part of the camp experience is becoming more independent, and that usually means daughters don’t get to talk to their parents every single day. Find out what your camp’s communication policy is, and make sure if you have any questions about it you ask them before camp starts. Will your daughter call home during the summer? Can you send her e-mails? Will she be required to write letters? And are you willing to abide by the camp’s communication policy?

What do you do to look out for campers’ emotional wellbeing?

Activities and skill building are important parts of any camp program, but your daughter isn’t just an athlete, artist and adventurer — she’s also a sensitive, growing girl. What does this camp do to make sure your daughter’s emotional needs are being met and to prevent and address bullying and other destructive behaviors? What is the camp’s discipline philosophy?

How can you accommodate my daughter’s special needs?

Whether it’s a special diet, a special friend or a special interest, if there is some additional attention your daughter will need during the summer, make sure to ask the camp director about it before you commit to the session. If a camp is not able to work with you to accommodate your daughter’s kosher diet or need for extra tennis lessons, that’s something you need to know before you put down your deposit.

What makes your camp special?

There are lots of good camps out there, but not every camp is the right fit for every camper. Make sure you pick a camp for your daughter that reflects her values, needs and interests. That’s the best way to ensure you’re sending her to a camp that will be more than an experience — it will feel like a second home.

How do I know my daughter is ready for sleepaway camp?

April 9th, 2012

There’s no litmus test for determining when a child is ready for camp. It really boils down to the individual. In our decades in camping, the Bryn Mawr leadership has known girls who were champing at the bit to hop the bus to a Manor House bunk before they could even spell “camp,” girls who weren’t ready until they were Senior Camp age, and even some who ultimately decided sleepaway camp wasn’t really for them at all.

Camp readiness can sometimes be hard for parents to gauge, especially parents who are basing their child’s preparedness on their own experiences. Some kids are just ready younger than others. If you’re starting to think about summer camp for your daughter, we suggest you begin by asking yourself four questions:

Has your daughter expressed interest in camp? If she’s asking about it, that’s a great sign that she’s ready for the experience.
Does your daughter have the social skills necessary to succeed at camp? She will need to know how to interact appropriately with her peers and be part of a group.
Is your daughter able to take care of herself? Of course camp staff members will ensure the health and welfare of every child, but it’s important that she is able to dress herself, brush her teeth, and take care of other basic daily needs.
Are you ready? Camp is an adventure for children, and it can also be an adjustment for parents. Your support is important to your daughter’s success at camp.

If you can answer “yes” to those questions, here are some other important steps you can take to ensure your daughter is ready for a successful first summer at camp:

• Involve her in the camp selection process. Camp will be your daughter’s home for seven weeks and, hopefully, for many summers. It’s so important that she be a part of making the decision about which camp she attends. That’s why family tours and home visits are part of the registration process at Bryn Mawr. We want to make sure parents and daughters have the chance to get their camp questions answered.

• Help your daughter find the camp that’s the best fit for her. At Bryn Mawr, we’re proud to have some campers who are second- and third-generation Angels, and we know mothers and daughters enjoy sharing that bond of having attended the same camp. But we also have many campers whose mothers attended other summer camps as girls, or whose sisters attend different camps, because those families have recognized that while another camp may have been the best fit for a mother or sister, it’s not the best place for every member of the family. And that’s OK! Any camper is infinitely more likely to succeed at a camp that’s a great match for her interests and personality.

• Give camp a trial run. One of our favorite times of year is Explorers Weekend, when prospective LBMC Angels come to try camp on for size over the course of three fun-filled days and two nights. Explorers gives your daughter a taste of camp so she can really start to understand what it’s all about and how she might feel about a whole summer of special events, scheduled activities and nightly slumber parties.

• Be patient and understanding. The first few nights of camp can be a tough adjustment for the most seasoned camper. In fact, it’s not at all unusual for even some of our oldest girls to come down with a case of “pre-camp jitters” right before the summer starts. Be prepared for the possibility that your daughter may need time to adjust to camp. Make sure she knows you believe in her and you’re confident that she will have a happy, successful summer.

• Most importantly, talk to your daughter about camp, and listen to what she has to say. If you’re not sure where to start, there are a lot of great books about camp and some of the feelings that come along with sleeping away from home. (An oldie but a goodie is “Ira Sleeps Over,” a picture book about how a little boy conquers his fear of spending the night at a friend’s house.) Let your daughter be honest about her feelings, and if she’s nervous, confront that nervousness together. When you help your daughter prepare for camp by talking through some of the scenarios and emotions she may encounter, she’ll be well prepared to jump into camp with confidence.

Transitioning From Camp to Home

August 10th, 2011

It’s hard for us to believe, but the summer is just about to come to a close! It seems as though the end of camp sneaks up on us every year. Color War, the last big event of the summer, is underway, and before you know it the girls will be packing up their duffels and boarding the buses home.

You probably aren’t surprised to hear that campers sometimes have a hard time settling in to the camp routine at the beginning of the summer. What you might not realize is that your daughter may find it challenging to adjust to life after camp! Bryn Mawr has become a second home over the course of the summer, and she’s gotten used to the routine of camp life. After seven weeks of sharing a cabin with a dozen other girls, eating meals in the loud, spirited dining hall and moving from activity to activity every hour, even girls who can’t wait to get home frequently need a few days to reacclimate to the peace and quite of home. (Even the senior staff and directors go through the same process of readjusting to the “real world” come August!)

In addition to the change of environment, your daughter may be emotional about leaving camp. It’s not at all unusual for campers to feel sad about leaving their “summer sisters” at the end of the season. Don’t worry — it doesn’t mean your daughter isn’t happy to see you! She might just need a little bit of time to get used to being away from camp… just like she needed time to get used to being away from home in June.

The post-camp blues generally fade within a day or two. In the meantime, you can help your daughter make a smooth transition back to home life by asking her to share her summer with you. Look at photos and video on the camp website together and listen to her stories about those moments. Break out the tennis racquets and get her to show you the new skills she picked up on the courts at camp. Admire her arts and crafts projects, listen to her Color War play-by-play, and let her teach you her favorite camp song or cheer. Sharing her memories and lessons from the summer is a great way for your daughter to ease back into life at home while continuing to cherish her camp experience!

Preparing You and Your Camper for Camp!

May 25th, 2011

The below blog entry was written for us by Bob Ditter, a child, adolescent, and family therapist in Boston. Bob has been working with the Bryn Mawr staff for the past eight years. In addition to training our staff, Bob spends four days at camp during the summer “in the trenches” helping campers and staff.

As always, feel free to call or email if you have any questions or concerns!

Getting Ready for Camp
If you are the parent of a first time camper at Lake Bryn Mawr Camp and you are like most parents, you are probably both excited about the prospect of your child going off to camp and a little nervous. After all you are about to open a new chapter in your family’s story—the start of a new adventure for your daughter! Camp professionals have been helping kids become more independent for years, and Dan and Jane Kagan are among the best at helping girls find their own voice while putting families at ease with the entire process. Dan and Jane think of camp as “life experience with training wheels”—a powerful way to add to and enhance the many strengths your daughter can develop. The Kagans see this as their true business. What your daughter will talk about are all the friends she is making and all the activities she is doing, like horseback riding, gymnastics, dance, theater, swimming or arts and crafts. What seasoned camp families know, however, is that by being at camp their daughters are becoming even more self-reliant, confident and self-assured. In other words, Bryn Mawr teaches coping skills for girls while having the time of their lives!

So what can you do as a parent to get yourself and your daughter ready for this life-enhancing experience we call camp? Having been involved with camp for over thirty years I have a few ideas that I’d like to share with you.

Getting Yourself Ready
First, notice that when I posed the question about what you can do to get your daughter ready for camp I included you in the process! There are 4 pieces of advice I offer to help you as the parent get ready for camp!

As parents you need to be absolutely clear with yourself about the reasons you signed your daughter up for camp in the first place. Whether it was to make new friends, learn new skills or learn to fend for herself in a safe and supportive environment, you need to put those reasons “front and center” in your thinking and not lose track of them when you inevitably have a sad feeling about seeing your child off on the camp bus next month! As I often tell parents, one of the best things we can do for our children is to encourage them to take on the world in a healthy and sustainable way. Camp offers the perfect opportunity for helping widen your daughter’s horizons.
Reassure yourself as a parent that you’ve done your job. All the advice, coaching, caring and goodwill is in there. Trust the job you have done. Your daughter has it in her! You are simply letting her try out her wings even if it means she hits a bump or two along the way! There are many caring adults at camp to help her on her way!
Have allies! Letting kids go—off to camp, off to college, off on a long trip without you—is an emotionally charged event. Let your friends, colleagues, or spouses support you emotionally as you adjust to the “child sickness” you may occasionally feel.
Take advantage of the new freedom you will have and make some plans! One of the best things you can do to develop your child’s independence is to have a life of your own. When children see their parents thriving and enjoying their adult lives it helps them think about growing up in a much more positive light. Parents sometimes tell me they feel guilty enjoying themselves when their children are away, but this is n fact a key to healthy living.

Inoculating your child against homesickness

Many parents ask about what they can do to minimize homesickness. First, let’s remember that homesickness is a natural phenomenon most kids experience and survive! That said, here are some ideas about what you can do to help your daughter get ready for camp:

Involve them in shopping for camp, maybe even doing some packing together.
Pack a favorite personal item, like a T-shirt, cap, small stuffed animal.
Have the child “practice” showering, sleeping over at friends or relatives and writing letters. (Most children today don’t write letters, so get them pre-addressed envelops and practice!)
Talk with them about the fun things they will be doing at camp. It can even help to watch the camp DVD together as a way of generating some ideas.
Share your own stories about your first times away from home, but keep it short and positive!
Point out what your daughter does well and how that will be an asset to her at camp.
Post a letter to your new camper a few days before she leaves for camp so it will be there on the first day when she arrives.

If your daughter does become homesick, tell her this is normal, that once she makes friends she will feel better and that you believe in her! Remember that children get caught up in “the moment,” and that even intense feelings eventually pass. I have seen children at camp speaking in desperate terms to their parents on the phone, only to be smiling and having fun minutes later while leaving their parents feeling devastated! Work with the well trained and experienced folks at camp and your daughter will grow from the experience!

Other conversations to have with your daughter before she comes to camp:

Every camper is part of a group and as your parent we expect you to cooperate and help out.
If you are having a problem, your counselor is there to help you. Don’t wait to tell us, you can tell your counselor. Be honest and ask for what you need.
If your counselor doesn’t help or is part of what makes you uncomfortable, talk to your Division Leader, Marjori, Max or Pilar.
Clean-up is part of camp; you do it everyday; we expect you to participate.
There are many new things at camp and you may not like them all or be as good at some as you are at others. We expect you to try!
Go about making a new friend or two. If you are timid about meeting someone new, ask about what they like and be a good listener. Your counselor can help you with this!
Not everyone has to be your friend, and you don’t have to be everyone else’s friend. If you have one or two good friends at camp, that’s great!
Have fun and tell us all about it on your first call home!