Camp News & Blog

From the Outside Looking In – A Parent Perspective

September 13th, 2012

Dear Jane and Dan,

I just wanted to personally thank you for all that you do to give these girls the summer of their lives. My daughter Erica, and my niece Ayla, came home with rave reviews. As impressed as I am with your program, the girls experienced it first hand. And, they are still talking about everything from the first day of camp, to the final night banquet. Even more, they have discussed their desire to come back as Bunk One Angels.

I never dreamed that my daughter, in particular, would find it such a positive experience. I feel that you definitely kept each of the girl’s personality profiles in mind, when choosing their mini groups. Erica was with a wonderful group of girls, in her “mini” group. Basically, she liked everyone in the manor house, and beyond. The Bryn Mawr Camp program allows for individuality, acceptance, and definitely helps the girls to build their self-confidence/self-esteem, just as stated in your video and during the home visit! Erica was encouraged to participate in activities, in which she otherwise expressed little to no interest. And, she loved everything. Even if she “wasn’t the best at it…”. I could not have asked for anything more!!!

In addition, I can see that all of the staff, yourselves included, truly enjoy camp. You get involved in all aspects of camp life. I appreciate that you cannot be everywhere at one time, but your presence is definitely felt by the girls! Which is, to me, exceptional. Ownership brings with it many challenges, however, you seem to have made the girls feel as though they are the top priority. I was thrilled to learn of the same!

Finally, I appreciate you for getting back to me when I had concerns. As the parents of three girls, I am sure you both understand the tricks ones mind can play, when looking at camp pictures. You helped to put my mind at ease, when I was missing my daughter, and my niece. I tried not to be “that parent”, but when I was close, you responded promptly. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

As you know, I was a camper there, and it seems that it is even better than I experienced!!! That is a true testament to your efforts throughout the summer, and the year. Hope you get to rest for a couple of weeks before it is back to work! The girls are starting the countdown to SUMMER 2013…

Best Regards,
An Appreciative Parent of a Manor House Camper and Aunt to a Lodge Camper

Traditions and Time Capsule

July 31st, 2012

One of the most endearing and sacred things about Lake Bryn Mawr Camp are the traditions: significant to each camper, each one demanding its own reverence, helping us unite as ‘summer sisters’.  These traditions are what transform Lake Bryn Mawr in the thoughts of the campers from ‘a camp’ to ‘my camp’.

In 1992 a new tradition was started at Bryn Mawr.  A time capsule was built to capture the timeless spirit of camp with each bunk and camper putting in something significant to them—there is not a list of what went into the time capsule, which is part of what makes it so exciting to open now, 20 years later.  Who knows what will come out–what favorite camp memento, treasured letter, funny memory?  The Bryn Mawr time capsule will be opened on Alumni Day, Saturday August 4th.  We have invited the alumni who took part in the time capsule as well as those who came before and after to be with us for this special event.  Back in 1992 we did not use emails—we sent out a letter in the mail to all the camp families letting them know about our time capsule.  This year, in 2013, we sent out emails to our camp families as well as putting a post and video on our Facebook page.  The time capsule has become a way to bridge 20 years of camp and we are going to use it to connect us to the future generations of Bryn Mawr campers as well.  We have invited every bunk to bring something special with them on the opening day so that we can then start a new time capsule to be opened in summer 2033.

The face of Bryn Mawr might change on the surface but the feeling it gives you never does.  Bryn Mawr is home to all of us and part of what makes it that way is that the campers know they are enjoying the same activities, in the exact same ways, as generations of campers did before them.  We might not be here in 20 years to watch the next time capsule open and to carry on the traditions we love so much–but we are confident our successors and our campers will.

Jessie Buresh, Camp Blogger

Angel Philosophy

July 2nd, 2012

Loyalty means being true, faith and honor in all we do.  Beauty is in more than skin, beauty comes from deep within.  Merit is working hard all day, developing virtue along the way.  Comradeship is being a friend, loving others ‘til the end.  As Bryn Mawr Angels we’ll uphold these four values: the Angel Code.

When I first started working at Bryn Mawr I had no idea just how much that paragraph up there would change my life.  I thought I was in for a one-time deal, a summer job that would let me experience the East Coast and maybe an introduction to sleep-away camp that I had never had before.  Imagine my surprise to find myself sitting here, in my 7th summer, writing this blog!

You know that Bryn Mawr is a unique place, a place that fosters lifelong friendships—‘summer sisters’.  A place where your Angel can be free to express herself and to try new things.  A place where she can roll out of bed, throw on a uniform, and greet the day where the emphasis is on her experience rather than her appearance.  It is a place where the Angel Code is so deeply entrenched that it is a part of every activity and every program lesson.

I am here to tell you that Bryn Mawr is a unique place for a completely different reason, and one you might not have even considered.  The staff, a team of professionals who are here doing what they do best—inspiring, leading, teaching.  The staff, who come back summer after summer for the very same reason your daughters do!  The Angel Philosophy and what it means in our lives also.  The staff at Bryn Mawr genuinely understand the magnitude of the responsibility they have been given for the summer—your children!  Understanding that responsibility makes the four virtues in the Angel Philosophy that much more important because in order to teach it and pass it along we need to feel it, embrace it, and allow it to change our lives just as surely as it changes the lives of the campers.  And I am here to testify that it does!

I will be writing more about the Angel Code as the summer goes on.  I will be looking for those situations that exemplify the Angel Philosophy so that I can share it with all of you and give you not only a glimpse into the summer home that your Angels love so much but also just why the staff here are so inspired and passionate and even awestruck to be working at LBMC.

What Questions Should I Ask My Child’s Camp Director?

May 25th, 2012

When you’re sending your child to sleepaway camp for the first time, even if you’re a seasoned camper yourself, the process of choosing a camp can be a little bit overwhelming – and you might not remember to ask all the right questions. Any good camp director will tell you about their camp philosophy, programs and traditions, but there are some questions you can ask to ensure you and your daughter are making the right choice for her. Here’s a handy clip-and-carry guide to bring along to those camp tours so you can be sure to get the information you need about the prospective summer homes you’re considering for your daughter.

What steps do you take to help welcome my daughter to camp?

Camp life is wonderful, and it’s also a big adjustment — new friends, new bed, new food, new schedule. It’s a lot to take in! How does this camp help your daughter make the transition? Are there pre-camp programs, like pen pals or meetups, to help her make connections before she gets off the bus? Will she have a “buddy” or “big sister” at camp to answer her questions and serve as a role model?

Who will supervise my daughter at night?

Some camps have a counselor on duty in each and every cabin every night, while other camps have one “OD” (on duty) counselor supervising several cabins while other staff members have time off. Make sure your daughter’s camp has an OD policy that provides for a level of coverage that you’re comfortable with.

When will I talk to my daughter?

Part of the camp experience is becoming more independent, and that usually means daughters don’t get to talk to their parents every single day. Find out what your camp’s communication policy is, and make sure if you have any questions about it you ask them before camp starts. Will your daughter call home during the summer? Can you send her e-mails? Will she be required to write letters? And are you willing to abide by the camp’s communication policy?

What do you do to look out for campers’ emotional wellbeing?

Activities and skill building are important parts of any camp program, but your daughter isn’t just an athlete, artist and adventurer — she’s also a sensitive, growing girl. What does this camp do to make sure your daughter’s emotional needs are being met and to prevent and address bullying and other destructive behaviors? What is the camp’s discipline philosophy?

How can you accommodate my daughter’s special needs?

Whether it’s a special diet, a special friend or a special interest, if there is some additional attention your daughter will need during the summer, make sure to ask the camp director about it before you commit to the session. If a camp is not able to work with you to accommodate your daughter’s kosher diet or need for extra tennis lessons, that’s something you need to know before you put down your deposit.

What makes your camp special?

There are lots of good camps out there, but not every camp is the right fit for every camper. Make sure you pick a camp for your daughter that reflects her values, needs and interests. That’s the best way to ensure you’re sending her to a camp that will be more than an experience — it will feel like a second home.

How do I know my daughter is ready for sleepaway camp?

April 9th, 2012

There’s no litmus test for determining when a child is ready for camp. It really boils down to the individual. In our decades in camping, the Bryn Mawr leadership has known girls who were champing at the bit to hop the bus to a Manor House bunk before they could even spell “camp,” girls who weren’t ready until they were Senior Camp age, and even some who ultimately decided sleepaway camp wasn’t really for them at all.

Camp readiness can sometimes be hard for parents to gauge, especially parents who are basing their child’s preparedness on their own experiences. Some kids are just ready younger than others. If you’re starting to think about summer camp for your daughter, we suggest you begin by asking yourself four questions:

  1. Has your daughter expressed interest in camp? If she’s asking about it, that’s a great sign that she’s ready for the experience.
  2. Does your daughter have the social skills necessary to succeed at camp? She will need to know how to interact appropriately with her peers and be part of a group.
  3. Is your daughter able to take care of herself? Of course camp staff members will ensure the health and welfare of every child, but it’s important that she is able to dress herself, brush her teeth, and take care of other basic daily needs.
  4. Are you ready? Camp is an adventure for children, and it can also be an adjustment for parents. Your support is important to your daughter’s success at camp.

If you can answer “yes” to those questions, here are some other important steps you can take to ensure your daughter is ready for a successful first summer at camp:

• Involve her in the camp selection process. Camp will be your daughter’s home for seven weeks and, hopefully, for many summers. It’s so important that she be a part of making the decision about which camp she attends. That’s why family tours and home visits are part of the registration process at Bryn Mawr. We want to make sure parents and daughters have the chance to get their camp questions answered.

• Help your daughter find the camp that’s the best fit for her. At Bryn Mawr, we’re proud to have some campers who are second- and third-generation Angels, and we know mothers and daughters enjoy sharing that bond of having attended the same camp. But we also have many campers whose mothers attended other summer camps as girls, or whose sisters attend different camps, because those families have recognized that while another camp may have been the best fit for a mother or sister, it’s not the best place for every member of the family. And that’s OK! Any camper is infinitely more likely to succeed at a camp that’s a great match for her interests and personality.

• Give camp a trial run. One of our favorite times of year is Explorers Weekend, when prospective LBMC Angels come to try camp on for size over the course of three fun-filled days and two nights. Explorers gives your daughter a taste of camp so she can really start to understand what it’s all about and how she might feel about a whole summer of special events, scheduled activities and nightly slumber parties.

• Be patient and understanding. The first few nights of camp can be a tough adjustment for the most seasoned camper. In fact, it’s not at all unusual for even some of our oldest girls to come down with a case of “pre-camp jitters” right before the summer starts. Be prepared for the possibility that your daughter may need time to adjust to camp. Make sure she knows you believe in her and you’re confident that she will have a happy, successful summer.

• Most importantly, talk to your daughter about camp, and listen to what she has to say. If you’re not sure where to start, there are a lot of great books about camp and some of the feelings that come along with sleeping away from home. (An oldie but a goodie is “Ira Sleeps Over,” a picture book about how a little boy conquers his fear of spending the night at a friend’s house.) Let your daughter be honest about her feelings, and if she’s nervous, confront that nervousness together. When you help your daughter prepare for camp by talking through some of the scenarios and emotions she may encounter, she’ll be well prepared to jump into camp with confidence.

Sometimes Children Need to Get Away from Home in Order to Find Themselves!

March 6th, 2012

The following blog was written by Bob Ditter. We are fortunate enough to work with him throughout the year and we are thrilled we can share his knowledge with you as well.

www.bobditter.com

I was talking with a colleague the other day about her teenage son. She was telling me about all the self-centered, self-occupied ways he behaves around the house when she finally said, “I think the reason teenagers are so obnoxious and challenging is otherwise we parents couldn’t bear to let them go!”

This reminded me of a passage I’d read last fall in a New York Times Sunday Magazine article by Paul Tough titled, “Character Test: What If the Secret to Success Is Failure?”

Parents . . . have an acute, almost biological impulse to provide for . . . children, to give them everything they want and need, to protect them from dangers and discomforts large and small. And yet we know — on some level at least — that what kids need more than anything is a little hardship: some challenge, some deprivation that they can overcome, even if just to prove to themselves they can. [The education many children receive at home and in school may not] provide them with the skills to negotiate the path toward . . . a happy, meaningful, productive life. In order to do so, [children] first need to learn how to fail. (Tough, p. 85, September 14, 2011)

In addition to a little hardship I would add that children need to get away from their parents from time to time! I don’t think children can truly get a sense of what they are capable of and what they truly have a talent for while their parents are standing around watching. Children need an enduring sense that they can figure things out and manage what life throws at them—indeed, to trust that they have the capacity to cope! As long as Mom or Dad are in the wings to pick up the pieces a child will never truly know whether he or she has what it takes to make it on their own.

In his latest book, Happy and Homesick, Michael Thompson, the child psychologist from Boston who has written extensively on boys and the social landscape of children, talks about “the empathic connection between parent and child” as a “fundamental part of our nature—instinctive and unquestioned.” Yet, this same strong wired-in urge to protect and provide for our children can actually backfire. It can actually prevent them from finding their own strengths, their own abilities and their own self-confidence. Dr. Thompson elaborates:

As a child you don’t know what you truly feel unless you are away from your parents. Away from home children know what they hate and what they love, what makes them miserable and what makes them happy, because they are having the experience on their own. Children who go away to camp often report that only at camp can they “be themselves.”

As one eleven-year-old boy said, “Sometimes at home I feel pressured, but at camp I don’t feel people are judging me.” (Thompson, p.14, May, 2012) One of the most powerful outcomes of the camp experience is the sense of self and the self-confidence children can away from their parents. Indeed, a child is more likely to pass a swim test under the watchful eyes of the nineteen year-old swim staff than if their parents were there. As Dr. Thompson explains, “When a child is anxious and frightened, it sets off a parent’s anxious identification, and when the child then sees worry in the parent’s face—or, worse yet, a forced cheerfulness that doesn’t fool the child for a second—it makes the child even more anxious. When a child accomplishes something away from her parent she can be absolutely sure she owns that accomplishment!” (p.19)

So I have two recommendations: buy Michael Thompson’s new book when it comes out in May, 2012; and send your child to camp so you can read it!

When it comes to extracurricular activities, how much is too much?

February 21st, 2012

It’s a question lots of parents struggle with: How much is too much when it comes to extracurricular activities? Of course, there are days when the drive from soccer practice to karate to Hebrew school is enough to make any parent ready to cancel all the after-school appointments, especially when you’re eating dinner in the car yet again. But the structure, enrichment, socialization and skill development your daughter gets from those activities can help encourage healthy growth and make her more well-rounded. So where do you draw the line?

Child psychologist Dr. Janet Taylor recommends looking at your family’s schedule and then reducing commitments and activities by 10 percent.

“Overscheduled children bear the burden of stressed-out families,” Dr. Taylor writes. “After five hours of extracurricular activities, the benefit for children is lessened. Add in downtime.”

Overscheduled kids can end up stretched too thin to perform well in school and other pursuits, but living on the go doesn’t just take its toll on children. There can be negative consequences for parents, too. From the Huffington Post:

“We have a generation of mothers and fathers who want to be all things to all people,” said Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, who specializes in adolescent medicine and behavioral issues at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. “They are willing to do so much self-sacrificing for their child.”

Sound like you? Then it might be time to reevaluate what you’re booking this season. Now, no one is suggesting you become a selfish parent and refuse to shuttle your kids back and forth to their favorite activities. But, Ginsburg said, “There’s nothing more important for your child than for you to be doing well yourself.”

According to a 2011 New York Times article, having a warm, loving family life is as important to children’s development as all those enriching activities. If parents are stressed out over the time, money and energy that go into the extracurriculars, that takes a toll on that valuable family time.

From the New York Times article:

On a recent National Public Radio program, Steven D. Levitt, a professor of economics at the University of Chicago, said he and another economist could find no evidence that that sort of parental choices could be correlated at all with academic success.

“And my guess is,” he went on, “that when it comes to the happiness of kids, that kind of cramming has got to be negatively correlated. Being rushed from one event to the other is just not the way most kids want to live their lives, at least not my kid.”

So how do you strike a good balance between keeping your children active and stressing them out? The answer is sitting right across from you at the dinner table (or eating dinner in the backseat, depending on what’s on the schedule this evening). Keep an eye on your daughter’s moods. Read her body language when it’s time for ballet, lacrosse or Girl Scouts. And most importantly, ask her what she wants to do. Not only may her answers surprise you; she may learn something about herself as she decides. According to Dr. Taylor, “The process can help them think about what they like and provide an opportunity to discuss commitments, demands and expectations.”

Story time at camp: ‘The Giving Tree’ and ‘The Velveteen Rabbit’

January 31st, 2012

At Bryn Mawr, we love tradition, and Friday nights are a favorite weekly tradition summer after summer. Every Friday of every summer, all campers and staff dress in white for Shabbat dinner. After enjoying brisket and matzo ball soup, we gather in the Apple O Theater for talent night and a story read by Jane.

Some of the stories Jane reads change from year to year as she discovers new books she knows campers will enjoy, but there are two best-beloved books without which no Bryn Mawr summer would be complete: “The Giving Tree,” by Shel Silverstein, and “The Velveteen Rabbit,” by Margery Williams.

“The Velveteen Rabbit” is traditionally read on the first Friday night of the summer. For those who may be unfamiliar with the story, it’s about a stuffed toy rabbit who learns that a toy becomes Real when it is truly loved by its owner – and “once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.” It isn’t until the Rabbit is separated from his beloved owner that he learns what it really means to be loved and to be Real.

“The Giving Tree” is another story about a relationship between a child and a well-loved object – in this case, an apple tree who gives selflessly to the little boy she loves as he grows up and changes.

These two stories are treasured chapters of camp lore. Older girls know them practically by heart, and you’ll often hear them mentioned in the alma maters our Bunk One campers write for Color War Sing. And since many counselors grew up with these classic tales, they also love to hear them read and share them with their campers.

But it isn’t just the stories themselves that are important – it’s their messages. “The Giving Tree” and “The Velveteen Rabbit” have become traditional stories at camp because they illustrate the most important value we want our campers to hold dear: what it means to love and care for someone else. In “The Giving Tree,” the tree shows her love for the little boy time and time again by giving up parts of herself – her apples, her branches, her trunk. In the end, she has nothing left of herself but a stump, but she is content because she is with the person she loves, and that is enough. And in “The Velveteen Rabbit,” the Rabbit is granted his greatest wish – to become a Real rabbit – because he became Real in the heart of the child who loved him so much.

We’re proud that Bryn Mawr is so spirited, has such a wonderful facility and offers such a wide variety of activities and programs. But nothing makes us more proud than hearing campers talking to one another about “The Giving Tree” or “The Velveteen Rabbit” and knowing that they have learned the importance of caring for one another. We love that campers treasure these stories and look forward to hearing them each year – and we especially appreciate seeing our campers carry these messages of love and giving into their daily lives, at camp, at school and at home.

Teaching Children Responsibility

January 10th, 2012

Traditionally, the beginning of the year is a time when we try to adopt new, better habits. On average, about one third of Americans resolve to lose weight each new year. (No wonder the gym is always so much more crowded in January!) Statistically, though, about 80 percent of those well-meaning resolutions will have been abandoned by February. Why? Well, it’s hard to make major changes to the way we are used to behaving, and even harder to make them overnight. Learning to be healthy takes practice and discipline, and it isn’t always easy, even when we know that eating right and exercising regularly are good for us.

The same goes for raising children to be responsible and accountable for their actions. A sense of responsibility isn’t something we’re born with, and it isn’t something that can be taught in one moment. Parents Magazine compares responsibility to manners – it’s a “learned behavior.” That means that as parents, we’re responsible ourselves for making sure we help our children develop an understanding of how important it is to take accountability for their actions. We can do that by giving them age-appropriate responsibilities and providing incentives and consequences for different kinds of behavior.

Chores & tasks

Giving children responsibilities around the house is a great way to teach accountability and show them how their actions can positively impact others. Even small children can start to learn responsibility by helping to pick up their own toys or clear the table. This article provides some good suggestions for ways to realistically and constructively involve kids in deciding what chores they do and how they ought to be done.

Follow through

If we tell a child to expect a consequence for a certain action and then don’t apply that consequence, we lose an opportunity to teach accountability. For example, if the rule is you can’t have dessert unless you eat all your vegetables, but we give our children ice cream even though they left all their broccoli and cauliflower on the plate, what we’re really teaching them is that the vegetable rule doesn’t really matter.  The best consequences in the world are completely ineffective if they’re never applied. The same goes double for incentives: If you promise a child a reward for a certain good behavior, make sure you come through when the reward has been earned. We have to follow through if we really want our children to learn that their actions have consequences that they can control by being responsible for their own behavior.

Responsibility and camp

Accountability and responsibility are a big part of the summer camp experience. Campers have daily age-appropriate responsibilities that teach them accountability and help them develop healthy independence, and counselors and other staff members are trained to help campers understand how their own actions affect themselves and others.

When your daughter is coming to camp for the first time, it’s a good idea to prepare her for the fact that she will have certain responsibilities at camp, such as making her bed and helping clear the table at meals. Her camp responsibilities may be different from her home responsibilities, but they are just as important; they help camp run smoothly for everyone. As she gets older, she will have more responsibilities at camp, such as having a Peanut Daughter, leading a Junior Camp activity day, and someday captaining a Color War team — a big responsibility, but one that she’ll be ready for after years of practice!

Reunion: A little bit of summer in the winter

December 7th, 2011

December — it’s the time of year that’s furthest from camp. Holidays, projects and exams, winter sports and vacations occupy our campers’ minds. That’s why every year around this time, when the days are shortest, we set aside an afternoon to revive camp spirit at our annual reunion in New York City. It was terrific to see so many of our campers and staff from summer 2011 this weekend!

Reunion is a chance for our campers to get together in the middle of the year, when it seems like summer will never come again, reminisce about the memories they’ve made in summers past, and get excited about the summer to come. Whether we’re signing reunion t-shirts, watching a magician, watching the summer highlight video or just hanging out and having a good time, reunion is a special time to celebrate the precious friendships that are formed at Bryn Mawr. Although it’s always a little strange to see our campers dressed in their winter clothes without a uniform T-shirt or tennis shoe in sight!

Our campers stay in touch with one another all year long, but they don’t often get to spend time all together with their bunkmates away from camp, and the excitement level at reunion is so high it can probably be detected by weather satellites! We never fail to get a little emotional as we watch the girls run into the arms of their “summer sisters.” Even with snow on the ground and frost in the air, it’s as though we’ve been transported straight back to summer.

That’s one of the special things about the friends girls make at summer camp — they are devoted, dedicated and close in a very unique way. Living together day in and day out, summer after summer, campers get to know one another as well as if they were sisters. When they see each other after a separation, it’s a lot like a family reunion. They pick up where they left off, as comfortable with each other as they were the last time they were together. It’s no surprise, then, that camp friends stay in touch long after their summers at camp are over, going on to be college roommates, bridesmaids, honorary aunts to one another’s children and friends for life. We know our campers talk about “living ten months for two,” or counting down the days until they can get back to camp, but when we see their excitement at reunion, we know they really mean it.

Reunion is a great time for the camp leadership and staff to be reminded of the importance of what we do, too. We love the chance to check in with our campers, recall the adventures of the previous summer and update them with the latest developments at camp. Winter is our planning time for camp, and seeing our campers gives us a great big burst of excitement for the summer to come and all the new activities, events and outings we’re setting up for next year.

More importantly, we get to see the happy faces of the campers we care for each summer as they hug one another and chatter about their plans for next year. It’s a wonderful reminder for us that what we do is bigger than making sure the tennis courts get resurfaced or finding the best dressage instructor for our riding lessons. We work to make camp a safe, loving place where girls can feel free to be themselves and confident in their relationships with one another.